


This December I Don't Want to be All Alone

by Fanofthearts



Category: Holby City
Genre: Berena Secret Santa, Bernie in uniform, Christmas, F/F, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sharing a Bed, So many tropes, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-24 12:31:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17100644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanofthearts/pseuds/Fanofthearts
Summary: Bernie comes home to Holby in 2014, on leave from the Army. She steps off the plane to an empty waiting room except for a beautiful brunette. Utter fluffy nonsense ensues. Based on the prompt: Bernie in Uniform





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Squishmitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishmitten/gifts).



> Set in 2014 Serena is slowly letting Edward back into her life, although she is wary he has managed to charm his way getting her to pick him up at the airport. A snow storm threatens to delay his plane in Scotland but a certain Army major catches her eye while she waits. 
> 
> Written for the 2018 Berena Secret Santa for the insanely talented Squishmitten. I had such a BLAST doing this and messaging you these past couple of weeks :) I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Thank you to my amazing beta Iordio! I couldn't have done this without you <3

The seat was starting to dig into the back of Serena’s thighs as she shifted again. Rolling her eyes she glanced down at her watch for what felt like the thirtieth time in the last hour; Edward had been charming, funny, and at certain times in their relationship quite wonderful. She felt herself warming towards him again and that is exactly why she found herself here. A little part of her brain reminded her of his cheating, lying and he hell he put her through for years before she finally divorced him, she shoved it away, rubbing her eyes. Irritation was beginning to eat her from the inside out. Fidgeting she stood and walked to the information desk, the woman looked up with a slight glower. “It’s still delayed I’m afraid.”

“Any idea for how long?” Serena’s right hand reached for her pendent sliding it to and fro. 

The woman shrugged, “The fog is pretty thick up in Glasgow and then with the snow here, I wouldn't hold my breath,” as she gestured out the large windows, “It could be ten minutes, or it could be an hour. They are still sitting on the runway.” 

Serena knew the second she went home she’d just have to get in the car and drive back, that’s if she could get back with the way it was coming down. She nodded to the woman and walked over to the large windows overlooking the terminal. The weather was cold, hovering just at freezing with a haze covering everything; a lone plane had just touched down, she squinted, it didn’t look like a commercial flight. Holby was by no means a large airport, but was a decent enough size for the area. Flights to and from Glasgow, Aberdeen, Barcelona and Berlin. 

Edward had gone to Glasgow ostensibly for a three day conference but in reality a three day piss up. She had dropped him off and was to pick him up, he had asked nicely and promised a rather good bottle of wine in return. She shook her head at her stupidity. Distance did not make the heart grow fonder in this instance and she was again questioning herself as to why she had fallen for his charm yet again. 

Leaning back into her seat she looked around the virtually empty terminal, an older man reading a newspaper in the corner and a young girl on her phone across from him. She looked up at the customer services desk, gaudy Christmas decorations hung from above wishing travelers a happy Christmas, rolling her eyes she glanced at watch. Ten more minutes and she was going home, her frustration was interrupted by the whirl of noise coming from the arrivals doorway.

Her head snapping towards a man in what appeared to be full dress military uniform stepping into the waiting area, the older man rising from his seat folding his newspaper as he walked towards the officer. Both smiling, as they shook each other's hand. “I am proud of you, Son.” She could see the young man’s blush from where she sat. Their conversation was interrupted by another soldier walking through the door, the young girl pocketed her phone and ran to him, jumping into his arms. She watched as the pristine black fabric wrinkled under her firm grip. She couldn’t understand what they were saying as they walked towards the exit doors and into the car park. 

“Excuse me,” The woman from the desk called, “The Glasgow flight has been cancelled. Sorry.” Serena nodded in acknowledgement, from the tone of the attendant she wasn’t sorry at all.

Serena sighed at the thought of losing two hours of her life she wouldn’t get back. She looked out the window again at what was quickly becoming a winter wonderland and groaned. Home and a glass of Shiraz in front of the fire sounded just about right. She sat down to pick up her handbag when another soldier stepped out of the arrivals door. She was tall, her service uniform impeccable like all the others. Blonde hair twisted tight under her cap with a red band shining brightly. Serena assumed it was a regimental band, the others had the same. Her left breast was heavily decorated with medals, square shoulders tapered to a cinched waist, before flaring gently at her hips.

The heavy serge material barely moving as she came to a stop, narrow eyes swept the room taking in its emptiness before her eyes briefly settled on Serena. The brunette felt her breath catch at the look of sadness. She watched as she looked around the room once more before walking towards Serena. “Do you mind if I sit here?”  
Her voice was rasping, like she hadn’t spoken in hours. It took Serena a pause to find her own, “No, not at all. Please.”

The woman settled next to her loosening her tie from her neck and undoing her top button of her crisp white shirt. Serena’s eyes tracked the movement of the long fingers and felt herself flush, she always loved a woman in uniform. 

“It wasn’t snowing when we left London.” She gestured to the scene outside. 

“No… it… erm just started here a bit ago.” Her eyes watched those long fingers again before they continued down to the very sensible black shoes she had on. 

“I bloody hate this skirt. I don’t do my job in a skirt but yet I’m forced to wear this thing when I have a bloody medal ceremony in front The Queen.”

“I’m sorry?” Serena’s eyes darted back to the woman’s face. She watched as her cheeks reddened as if she hadn’t realized she had spoken out loud. 

“Umm, nothing. I’m sorry I’ve been on the go for…” she glanced down at her watch, “...for about forty four hours give or take.” She sat forward, her hands playing with buttons on her overcoat that was folded across her lap. They sat in silence for a few beats. “Have you been here long?”

Serena laughed, “A while, but not as long as you have been going. I was waiting for my ex-husband’s plane but it appears to have been grounded in Glasgow.”

“I’ve got one of those.” She glanced at Serena, seeing her confused expression, “An ex-husband I mean. It’s nice of you to pick him up, mine wouldn’t dream of doing that for me.”

“Yes, well this is uncharted territory for us, an olive branch that is close to being rescinded as I’ve wasted two hours on a rare day off waiting.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a surgeon; vascular, and deputy CEO.”

Eyebrows raised high at that, “It seems I’m in like company.” The blonde stuck out her hand, “Major Berenice Wolfe, trauma surgeon, Royal Army Medical Corps.”

Serena took the hand in a firm grasp, “Nice to meet you Major.” Their hands lingered, “Trauma surgeon, you’re a rare breed these days.”

Bernie blushed and looked down at her shoes whilst extracting her hand from Serena’s, “Yes, so I’ve heard. I’m home on leave now, first Christmas I’ve been home in three years. My daughter was supposed to pick me up.” She looked around again, “You haven’t seen anyone who looks a bit like me wandering around have you?”

Serena felt her heart pinch, coming home to no-one waiting for her. “No, I’m sorry I haven’t.” She watched as the straight back slumped a bit, “Could you call her?”

“I tried before I left London, left a voicemail.” She pulled her phone out of a pocket and showed it to her. 

“Maybe try again?”

She nodded, scrolling through her recent calls list and dialed, lifting her phone to her ear. 

Dark eyes traced her strong profile, down a long neck to barely visible collarbones hidden by the pressed crisp white shirt. She found her fingers twitching to reach out and brush a strand of hair that had fallen from her neat bun nestled beneath her cap and push it behind her ear. The strands brushed the black of her uniform jacket, her eyes took in the medals that hung from her chest. She was no military expert but her eyes picked out the Military Cross pinned to her breast and her brows shot up.  
“Hey Charlie, it’s Mum, I’m back in Holby, just wondering if you were still picking me up. Anyway, give me a call. Love you.”

“Nothing?”

“Nope.” The blonde worried her lower lip trying to keep the tears from welling in her eyes. “I should call a cab,” She gestured to the windows behind them, “It doesn’t look like it’s letting up anytime soon.” Serena turned and looked also, it had already covered the tarmac. 

“Let me give you a lift? I’m headed home myself and I doubt you’ll get a cab now.” 

Long fingers fiddled again with the tie at her neck, roughness of the material contrasted sharply smooth finish of the shirt, “I don’t even know your name Ms Vascular CEO.”

Serena felt herself blush, “Oh, sorry! Serena Campbell.”

The Major tipped her cap, “Nice to meet you Ms Campbell, but I’d hate to take you out of your way.”

“No trouble at all,” She stood grabbing her handbag and standing, “Please, it’s the least I can do for a one of Her Majesty’s finest.”

Bernie laughed and stood, her hands self-consciously brushing her skirt. “If you insist.” She felt so out of character, speaking to this stranger, accepting a lift from her, but she had the most open face she had ever seen. Maybe it was the lack of sleep and the adrenaline wearing off but she wanted to get to know her better. Wanted to let her in. She took in the sparkling eyes of the woman in front of her and pushed down the ache in her chest. “Lead the way.”

Serena took in one last look - admiring, yes. Appraising, a resounding yes! She felt the excitement bubble and forced her feet to move. Oh yes, she loved a woman in uniform.  
The bitter wind greeted them as the stepped outside, Serena pulled her coat tighter as she lead the way to her lime green SAAB. “This is me.” She said over the wind. “Give me a second.” She opened the car and threw her handbag in the back seat, opening the boot and grabbing the scraper, she began to clear the windscreen. 

She felt gloved hands cover her own, “Get in and start the car, I’ll do it.” She was about to protest when the other woman shushed her, “It’s the least I can do.”

Serena nodded and slipped in the car, quickly starting it. She had watched Berenice pulled the overcoat that was hanging over her arm and slip it on over her uniform, placing her case in the backseat beside Serena’s bag. She was sad to see the uniform disappear but she felt a thrill watching the jacket rise up a bit as she swung the overcoat on. Turning the defrost on high she sat back and watched the Major work. It looked like a few inches had fallen on the bonnet as, what she was sure, were strong arms swept her car and made quick work of the snow. The woman opened the door soon after and slid in next to her, “Bloody hell! It’s cold out!”

Serena took in her rosy cheeks and snow covered hand. Without thinking she reached out and brushed the snow off of it. Their eyes met and both froze, something passed between them neither could explain. The moment was broken by the flashing orange light of gritter driving around the car park. “Right, well, where am I headed?”

Bernie told her the address and Serena cringed, it was the other side of Holby. She gingerly eased her car through the lot and onto the main road. She shifted into third gear, willing the car to keep moving across the fresh snow. “Um, would you mind if we stopped at mine? I’m only a few miles down the road. I can drop you off once it stops and the roads have been cleared. If it keeps coming down like this, I’m honestly worried about getting you home in once piece.”

The thought of going back to an empty cold flat with dust covered furniture and an unmade bed was unappealing, spending more time in this woman’s company was not. “Fine by me. Only if you don’t mind the intrusion?”

“Not at all, I have a good bottle of wine in the rack and some left over soup just waiting to be reheated.”

**

Serena was turning on the hob to reheat the soup when Bernie stepped out of the downstairs loo. “I hate to ask this, but my kit is coming from Kabul and it’s probably at the base, I don’t suppose I could scrounge a hoody or a t shirt? I don’t want to accidentally spill anything on my uniform.”

“Oh... of course. Follow me.” Serena led the way upstairs and into her bedroom. As she was rummaging through her chest of drawers she missed Bernie taking in the large room. The carpet was lush under her stocking feet, the large bed was in the centre of the room and was neatly made. Crisp white bed linen that Bernie could only covet after months of olive and khaki, a bunk, and irregular sleep. Serena held out a pair of track bottoms and a long-sleeved t-shirt, “Will these be okay?”

Bernie smiled and took them, “These are perfect. Thank you.” 

Serena smiled. “Would you like a shower?” 

Bernie didn’t want to take advantage but now that she was in a warm house she was exhausted, all she wanted was a hot shower and a bed. “Would you mind terribly?” 

“Not at all! Its right through there, let me get you some towels. The guest bath only has a tub, I’m assuming you’d like a shower?”

“Yes, please.” She watched Serena bustle out of the room and felt a smile pull at her lips. It had been a very long time since she felt so comfortable with someone, so taken care of, there was an underlying kinship there. She couldn’t help but run her eyes over Serena’s retreating figure, she was a beautiful woman. Shaking her head she stepped into the bathroom. She unbuttoned her skirt and hung it on the hanger on the bathroom door. 

Her fingers started undoing her jacket, catching her reflection in the mirror, her eyes took in the new addition on her chest, the Military Cross felt heavy, pulling the left shoulder of the jacket down. She breathed out as she closed her eyes: she remembered the whiz of the bullets.

_The sweat burned her eyes as she ran, falling to the sand next to her prone colleague, her hands went for his chest, pressing down on the wound, a vain attempt at stemming the blood loss. She knew there was no way she could save him but she had to try. She gripped him under his armpits, dragging him at a snail's pace back to the safety of the base. She was almost within the compound when she felt something bite her shoulder. She dropped hard to the ground, next thing she knew she was in her unit. Someone was pulling her own shirt off, looking down she saw blood running down her upper arm. The wound didn’t look terribly deep. “Just bandage me, I think I can save him.”_

_“Major! You’re hurt.” The words of her CO boomed in her ears, echoing strangely even though he was standing close._

_Her eyes were focused on the blood seeping through her fingers where they were pressed to her comrade’s chest. Her voice took on an edge of steel, “Bandage me now, you can look at it when I’m finished!”_

Serena pushed the half open bathroom door open a bit more. It had taken her a minute to find her spare towels, they were hiding in the back of her airing cupboard, the purple now clashing with her new bathroom but she kept them in case for guests or Elinor. Needless to say they hadn’t been used in a while. It wasn’t like her to invite strangers into her personal space but there was something about this woman that pulled her, she was curious to get to know her. 

Under her make up Serena could see the strain of exhaustion and she was more than a little curious about the woman’s mention of her meeting with The Queen. She opened her mouth to speak but the words died on her throat. The woman in question was leaning heavily against the wash hand basin, standing in shear tights, shirt and jacket, her skirt pooled at her feet. She felt her mouth dry at the sight, those endless legs disappearing under the jacket, shirt peeking out from the bottom. Gold buttons gleamed in the low light, her eyes tracked up that long column of a neck to her face. Her guest’s eyes were screwed shut and the look on her face could only be described as painful. Looking down at her hands she saw white knuckles. 

She gently cleared her throat watching the woman jump. “Sorry, just um… some towels.” She tried so hard to not let her eyes drift down too low, down to those endless legs. “If there is anything you need just give me a shout, I’ll get dinner on the table. Take your time.” And without a backwards glance she all but ran for the door. 

Serena idly stirred the soup replaying what had happened upstairs, the look on the woman’s face was haunting her almost as much as the bare legs were. Suddenly a thought struck her, meeting The Queen, the Military Cross on her chest; she turned the gas down and grabbed her phone. Typing ‘Berenice Wolfe, Queen, and military’ into google. It took a second for a BBC article to appear. Female Army Medic Among Those Honoured the Military Cross for Extreme Bravery. 

She heard the shower turn on above her and quickly opened the link. Her eyes widened at the story. Her impromptu visitor had been injured in the line of duty but refused care to her own wound until she had operated and saved two of her men before collapsing. She was airlifted to Germany for recovery before being sent back to Kabul where she served out the remaining of her tour. 

The medal ceremony, she looked at the date, was today at ten o’clock. A mere eight hours ago. She shook her head and felt a pain in her chest, for such bravery she was there alone, it seemed like none of her loved ones were there to see it. She scrolled down a bit further finding a photo of her guest leaning down slightly to get the medal pinned to her uniform, a slight smile on her lips. The water shut off above her and she pocketed her phone turning back to the hob. 

Serena was just dishing the soup into the bowls when Berenice walked into the kitchen, she had to giggle, “I fear my ex-husband was a bit heavier than you.” Her eyes hungrily took in the sight of her still damp hair, soft curls. She looked so much younger like this, drowning in Edward’s old clothes.

The blonde laughed and pulled at the legs, “I have a bit of growing to do it seems.” Their eyes met and silence fell. For a brief moment they looked into each other’s eyes before Bernie’s phone chirped breaking moment. She looked at the text message and frowned. “Apparently, my daughter isn’t even in Holby at the moment, she’s sorry she forgot about me.” She let out a humorless laugh, “She’ll maybe see me for Christmas.”

Serena knew she was trying to play it off but she saw the hurt reflected in her eyes. “It’s not easy, my Ellie hardly ever talks to me unless she needs money. I fear that the divorce was hard on her and me working endless hours doesn’t make matters easy either.” She watched as the blonde set her phone on the table face down and blinked back tears.  
Serena reached out her hand and covered Bernie’s fingers with her own, she shivered at the touch, “It’s going to be okay.”

Bernie turned her hand up to squeeze Serena’s, “Somedays...” She started before shaking her head, “I know.” She took a breath as their eyes met, “This smells gorgeous!”

Serena smiled giving her hand one last squeeze before letting go, “I hope you think it’s as good as it smells.” 

They ate in silence before they began swapping work stories. Bernie found Serena was wickedly funny; her stories left her howling with laughter and her jet lag was soon forgotten. Bernie helped Serena wash the few dishes before they stepped into the living room with a glass of wine. Serena pushed a couple of boxes out of the way, she was just getting the room prepped for Christmas when she darted off for the airport. “Oh my god Berenice! You did that in the back of a moving truck! I have a hard enough time doing it on an operating table!” She grabbed a throw off the back of the couch and settled down next to the Major. 

“Please, please call me Bernie, Berenice just seems so… so formal.” Bernie smiled at her from under her fringe.

“I don’t know, I quite like the name, it’s very beautiful.” Serena couldn’t blame the wine for the flirting, she’d only had one glass.

Bernie felt her face flush, “Oh I’m not sure about that, when you pair it with Griselda.” 

“You’re parents gave you that as a middle name!?”

“Yep, old family name from Dad’s side…”

“Oh you poor thing.”

“Come on then,” Bernie reached out and touched Serena’s arm, “What’s yours?” She felt warm and happy, sitting on the couch sharing a throw and a bottle of wine with this beautiful and utterly charming woman.

“Wendy, and I honestly have no idea where it came from.”

“Serena Wendy Campbell.” Bernie murmured almost reverently looking at her new friend from over her wine glass.

“Ah, Serena Wendy McKinnie, Campbell came later. If I hadn’t already had so many articles published in my married name I would have gone back to McKinnie.”

“Speaking of which, have you heard from your…him?”

“Oh yes, he’s been texting, he’s stuck in Glasgow until tomorrow, poor thing wants me to pick him up but I’m afraid I’m busy.” 

“A shame.” Bernie smiled at her over her now empty glass and yawned. She slipped out from under the blanket and walked over to the windows by the door and peered out into the night, snow was falling heavily in the orange glow of the street lights. “Blimey!”

“That bad?” Serena threw off the throw and crossed over to the window to stand next to her. “Oh, wow.” The car which was clean when they came in was now covered with a thick blanket of white. “Are you okay staying here tonight?” She looked at the street, “I’m afraid we are not going anywhere.”

Bernie frowned, turning to look at Serena, “Oh I don’t want to put you out, I could try to walk…”

“Berenice! You are not walking in that! And you are not putting me out, it’s nice to have the company, it’s usually just me rattling around this house. I even have a new toothbrush!”

“I have one of those with me.” She tossed a smile over her shoulder, she reached out and squeezed Serena’s hand surprising herself again at initiating the physical contact, “Would you mind terribly if I turned in?”

“Oh no, come on, an early night won’t hurt me any either, I have one more day off.” Serena put their glasses in the sink and turned off the lights. She showed Bernie to the spare bedroom. “If you need anything I’ll leave my door open, just pop your head in.”

“Thank you Serena I really appreciate this.” She squeezed her arm, “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Serena stood in the hall watching Bernie slip into the room, her hands moved to her necklace and slid it smoothly to and fro along the chain. She wondered what she went through, all she had seen. Her mind went back to the article she read and her heart clenched. 

Going into her own bedroom she saw Bernie’s uniform hung on a hanger on the back of the bathroom door. Looking over her shoulder to make sure Bernie wasn’t watching she pulled it off the hanger and slipped it on. It was tight on her shoulders and the collar itched her neck, she took a breath and was surrounded by Bernie’s smell. “Oh Serena, you’re in trouble.” She muttered looking up at the ceiling.

**

It was early when Serena woke, she looked at her clock, 4:03 flashed back at her. There was that noise again, a low keening came from somewhere outside her room. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, who was in the house? 

Her eyes rushed around the room falling on Bernie’s uniform and yesterday came flooding back to her. Edward, the airport, the Major she brought home. The noise came again and she threw the covers off and swung her legs out of bed. Grabbing her dressing gown she drew it on and pushed her door open stepping into the hall. She turned the hall light on and eased the door to the guest room open. The light flooded in and she could see Bernie tossing and turning in the bed. The covers wrapped around her like a mummy, even from the doorway she could see the sweat on her face. Turning the hall light out she stepped into the room, there was just enough light coming through the window for her to see the taller woman. 

Sitting tentatively on the bed she called out Bernie’s name. She stilled but did not wake, “Bernie! Berenice, it’s Serena, can you hear me?” She gently reached out and stroked a damp strand of hair back from her face. She held her breath, she knew people during nightmares could strike out. She kept stroking her hair, gently talking to her till her eyes fluttered open. “Hi there.”

Confused brown eyes darted from Serena’s face to the room trying to get her barring. Gone was the dust, sand, and heat. It was replaced by a comfortable bed, cool sheets and soft eyes staring into her own. “Serena?” Her throat burned.

“Would you like some water?”

Bernie nodded when Serena moved to get up Bernie’s hand shot out, “Don’t go.”

Serena’s heart broke, “I’m just going to get you a glass of water from the bathroom, and I’ll be right back.” She gently squeezed her hand before slipping back across the hall.

Sitting up Bernie concentrated on her breathing, she felt the anxiety clawing at her neck. Her stomach churned and she forced the bile down, she was safe here, she would not throw up in front of her host. It had been a few months since her last nightmare, she thought she was doing so well. “Fuck.” She rubbed her face, cringing at the sweat rolling down her skin.

“Here.” Serena pushed a glass of cool water into her hand, Serena gently took a damp washcloth and stroked it along Bernie’s warm forehead. Setting it down she hesitated for a moment before letting her hand fall to Bernie’s thigh gently rubbing her thumb back and forth on her leg through the blanket. “I’m here.”

Bernie set the glass on the night table with a shaky hand after drinking half of it. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t, please. I know what it’s like to have nightmares. Shove over Major.” Serena gently pushed on Bernie’s hips and straightened the covers, helping her untangle before slipping off her dressing gown and under the bed clothes next to her. 

“When I was in med school I had nightly nocturnal panic attacks. Sometimes, I didn’t even dream, I just woke up and couldn’t breathe. They are dreadful things.” Serena slid down and pulled on Bernie’s shoulder until she laid down with her. “Do you want a hug? Sometimes it helped me.” She didn’t give Bernie a chance to respond she just slipped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her into her side. Her hair was damp against her collar bone, “Would it help to talk about it?”

Bernie took a shuttering breath, she didn’t talk about it, ever. And yet, here was this woman, a stranger basically, who had been so kind when she had no reason to be. “The desert, some nights it’s just the desert, other nights, like tonight it’s…sand and.. and, um... blood.” She felt the fist of the anxiety gripping her again. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Serena’s fingers carded through her hair. “You don’t have to go there." They laid in silence for a bit, both listening to the other breathe, "Tomorrow, if you’d like we can sleep in and go to the park. I have a couple old sledges in the shed, we can go sledging. Lord knows there is enough snow out here,” She chuckled, “It’s something I haven’t done since I was a girl.”

Bernie laughed rubbing her cheek on the flannel of Serena’s nightgown, “I used to take the kids sledging when I was home in the winter. Oh, we had such fun. Poor Cameron, my son, insisted on making a jump one year and of course he flew off and broke his arm. I’m not sure Marcus ever forgave me for that one. Two days later I left to go on tour, and he had to deal with a seven year old in a cast.” 

“That settles it then, tomorrow, we’ll go sledging, there is a park not far from here. No jumps or crafty things though, I’m afraid I’m too old. ” 

Bernie let out a laugh and smiled tightening her arm around Serena's waist. She felt the weight on her chest lessen, taking a deep breath her eyes grew heavy. “Thank you Serena.” She snuggled a little closer, her head tucked under Serena’s chin, dull nails dragged up and down her arm and shoulder slowly lulling her. 

The brunette couldn’t resist to drop a kiss in her hair, “You’re very welcome Bernie.” Her heart was full, she couldn’t wait for tomorrow to learn more about this woman. She looked through the open door and in the streetlight coming through the window she could just make out the outline of Bernie’s uniform hanging on the bathroom door.

 

**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff, just fluffy fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again Iordio for betaing.
> 
> And again for Squishmitten :) hope you like it

Bernie became aware of her right arm tingling before anything else, gradually she forced her eyes open. She was curled onto her right side, her nose nestled into warm skin, her cheek cushioned on red and blue flannel. She took a deep breath; the smell of unfamiliar but sweet perfume filled her senses. She sighed and snuggled in, relishing the feeling willing to drift back to sleep when suddenly she realized, she wasn’t in her bunk on the base. 

Raising her head slightly she looked up into the face of the woman who welcomed her into her home yesterday. 

It all came rushing back; the medal ceremony, the snowstorm, the delicious wine, the wonderful company, and then the nightmare. She felt her cheeks warm at the memory, internally berating herself at having woken Serena, to have her calm her like a child.  She tried to extract herself but her right arm was pinned beneath Serena, if she moved, she’d wake her. 

If she could just… just slide away and leave, she’d never have to see her again. Never have to see the pity in her eyes, relive her embarrassment. Looking up at her peaceful face she felt her chest tighten at that thought. 

Now that this woman was in her life, she didn’t ever want her to leave. The thought made her pause. In the back of her brain she remembered something she had promised, sledging was it? She remembered how kind Serena was; how warm and devastatingly funny. She took a deep breath and rested her head on her shoulder again, “You can do this,” she told herself, “you can work through this. It’s okay.” 

Serena made a mewling noise and stretched. The noise sent a shot through the blonde and Bernie held her breath fighting her instinct to run. Fingers ran through her hair and Serena shifted sliding down further under the covers, “Morning.” She smiled sleepily, her hair stuck up at odd angles, drowsy brown eyes peered up at her bed mate.

Bernie moved her newly freed arm winching as the blood rushed back into it, “Good morning.” Their eyes met and for a moment everything stood still. “I’m umm… I’m sorry for using you as a pillow last night.” She dropped her gaze feeling as though she was burnt by the intensity. 

“Hey, no harm done. I quite liked the company.” She smiled down at her squeezing her hand. “You’re nice and warm. How are you?” 

“Good.” Bernie cut her off, looking down at the covers. “I’m fine, just at night, sometimes it gets…” Bernie paused “…to be too much.” 

Serena smiled reaching out and squeezed her hand. She propped herself up and looked out the window behind Bernie, “I think it stopped snowing finally! How about some breakfast, still up for sledging?” 

Bernie felt relief flood through her, there was no dwelling on last night. She found herself about to tell her no, that she had taken up too much of her time, she needed to get home to try and put her life back in order when she caught the look in Serena’s eyes, she did seem genuinely excited about it. “Sure,” She was almost blinded by Serena’s smile.  “But I have to stop at my place first I’ll need some boots and a change of clothes.” 

“No problem.” Serena beamed, it suddenly felt like the lonely hole in her life was filled, albeit temporarily. Yes, they had just met but Bernie was quickly becoming a conundrum she couldn’t, didn’t want to put down. She rubbed her face on the pillow and sighed, “I suppose we should get up.” 

“If we must.” Bernie smiled and stretched, forcing herself to swing her legs out of bed no matter how much she wanted to curl back under the warm covers and into Serena. It was heaven, not only having Serena pressed into her, but the mattress and sheets were like butter. She had been home for a week six months ago to finalize her divorce, while the bed in her flat was better than standard Army issued bunks, it did not feel like this. 

They went about their morning routines before meeting downstairs where Serena had the coffee maker going. Bernie had changed into her fatigues smiling at Serena as she breathed in the wonderful smell of coffee and frying bacon. “God, you have no idea how good that smells.” 

Serena turned away from the hob and her mouth opened but no sound came out, her hand slipped off the spatula and into contact with the hot frying pan. She yelped and pulled back almost upsetting the whole pan. Bernie was at her side in an instant steadying the pan and turning the heat down before reaching for Serena’s wrist quickly pulling her to the sink turning the tap on cold. She held her hand under the cool water running her thumb over the slightly pink mark on the base of her thumb. “Are you okay?” 

Serena felt her cheeks flush, she was so distracted by Bernie walking into her kitchen all long and tall in those khaki fatigues she her lost her sense of… Well, just her senses to be honest. She thought the dress uniform was a turn on, but this was another thing entirely. “Yes, yes, sorry, silly of me, I wasn’t expecting you to come in…with… um the…” 

Bernie looked down at herself, “Ah, these sadly are the only clothes I have with me. Not much time for civvies on tour.” 

“No, I’m sorry I still waking up.” She pulled her hand out from under the cold water and turned the tap off. “It’s fine, just a bit of a shock to the system.”  
Bernie smiled and picked the spatula up, “You go and sit down and relax, let me do this.” 

“You’re my guest, “Serena countered. 

“Your unexpected guest, please, go sit down, and enjoy your coffee.” She opened the carton of eggs next to the hob, “How would you like your eggs?” 

An hour later dishes were washed, dried and put away. Serena was bundled against the cold. Bernie put her dress uniform in the car with care and gave Serena directions to her flat. The main roads were mostly cleared but it still took them much longer than usual to get across town. “This is me.” Bernie pointed to a red bricked building. “Would you like to come up? The place isn’t much to look at.” 

Serena smiled softly turning the car off, “Of course.” 

Bernie opened the door grimacing at the cold and utilitarian furniture. She had a sofa and an armchair, a TV hung from one wall. “Um,” she pulled the sheets off the sofa and chair, rolling them up into a ball and tossing them in her laundry hamper, “make yourself at home.” 

She walked to the thermostat and turned it up, trying to get some of the chill out of the flat. The heating kicked in and she coughed as the dust smell wafted up from the registers. “I’ll just be a minute.” She disappeared into the bedroom to change. Serena looked around the bare space, being overseas so much she could understand not having a lot of possessions, but the flat was bare. She wandered into the kitchen, pinned to the refrigerator were a few pictures, one of a younger Bernie in full dress with a lot less medals than she saw yesterday, two small children pressed into her side. Another was more recent, Bernie in fatigues with the same children, now what appeared to be teenagers. 

“Alright, ready?” Bernie stepped out of the bedroom wearing thick black trousers, much like the ones Serena was wearing.  A soft blue jumper was covered by her thick winter coat and she was pulling on a hat and gloves. Although, her hat was a pale pink, not half an animal like her companion was wearing, she had commented on the hat before earning her a half-hearted glare. Serena felt her heart twinge at the sight, this woman could make anything look cute. 

“Umm, would you, would you like to stay at mine again tonight?” She surprised herself as the words tumbled out of her mouth. The thought of Bernie staying here, in this cold and sterile place when she could be with her was too much. “Just that, well, this place… you haven’t had a chance to do laundry or anything and now I’m taking you away again.”  
Bernie smiled ruefully, “I couldn’t impose.” 

“Not imposing at all, I took a chicken out to roast, and it’s always way too much food for one person, even if I take the leftovers for work. Ellie isn’t coming over any time soon and it… it would be nice to have company.” She snapped her mouth shut, she knew she was rambling. 

Bernie worried her lip, she should stay here, as it was last night she felt like she had crossed some line with this beautiful and charming woman. She wanted nothing more than to spend more time with her. Serena watched her face, “Oh come on, you can help me hang the lights, you’ve got a few inches on me, it will be easier for you to get to the tops of my shelves. Christmas is in two weeks, I need to get cracking. Please? You’d be doing me a favour.” 

Bernie smiled sheepishly, “Ah, so you’re just using me for my body Ms. Campbell, eh?” 

Serena let out a bark of laughed, “You foiled my plan Major.” 

Bernie felt her heart burst, “Let me go grab my bag.” She threw in a change of clothes, pyjamas, and a few other essentials before re-joining Serena. “Shall we go sledging?”  


Serena pulled into the car park. This was the place to sledge in Holby that Serena shared. It was a golf course in the summer and in winter they opened the slopes for sledging. Both armed with a toboggan they trudged through the snow and through the gate. Bernie stopped, “Serena, I think we are the oldest people here.” 

Dark eyes scanned the bit of a crowd gathered at the bottom of one of the largest hills, “No, see that elderly couple over there?” 

Sitting on a bench were an older man and woman apparently there to watch their grandkids come down the hill. “That’s not what I meant.” 

Serena smacked her on the stomach, “Come on you, race you up to the top.” 

Bernie just raised an eyebrow watching as Serena took off up the steep hill. She let her get a decent start before chasing after her hefting the sledge up and lengthening her stride. She easily over took Serena and plopped down at the top, watching with a smirk as Serena struggled up the last few feet.  She stood and grabbed her hand pulled her hard the last step, both stumbled at the pull and toppled backwards. Dropping the sledge, Serena landed with an ‘oof’ on top of Bernie, “Are you okay?” 

Bernie let out a laugh, a braying noise that made Serena jump before she too dissolved into giggles. Their laughs trailed off and Serena went to roll off, “I don’t want to crush you.” 

Bernie’s strong arms held her in place, “You’re not hurting me at all.” She laced her fingers together behind Serena’s back and Bernie took on her full weight. 

“Big macho Army medic, are we?” 

Bernie snorted wrapping her legs around Serena’s waist she flipped them over, pinning Serena onto her back, “Your words.” She stared down into Serena’s eyes, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear sticking out of that ridiculous looking hat. “This hat is really becoming Ms. Campbell.” 

Serena swallowed hard against a wave of desire that shot through her. Bernie’s face was flushed, the blonde hair coming up from under her hat made her look like an angel. Her eyes sparkled up at her, her eyes flicked down to her thin lips. She took a shaky breath, her gloved fingers gripped Bernie’s forearms. “Let me up you brute.” It was meant to come out to be sarcastic, but it came out a soft plea. This woman who she had met less than twenty-four hours ago was rapidly stealing her heart.  Bernie complied, moving off Serena and helping her up, both dusting snow off themselves and smiling. 

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” She gestured to the hill. 

Serena rolled her eyes and grabbed her sledge settling on it a bit awkwardly. “Absolutely, if little five-year olds can do it, I’m sure we, grown women can.” 

Bernie chuckled, “We are fully grown, and that’s what I’m worried about.” 

“Oh, yes we are.” Serena let her eyes openly rake down Bernie’s body, she watched as the blonde’s cheeks pinked. 

Bernie positioned her sledge away from Serena to not run into her when the headed down the hill. “Ready?” 

“Meet you at the bottom.” They pushed off, Serena letting out a squeal as they picked up speed. The hill, while steep gradually bottomed out and a few seconds later they came to a gentle stop both smiling so hard their faces could split. “I’ve forgotten how much fun this is.” They grabbed their sledges and trekked back up the hill. 

They tried a few other hills until Serena could go no more, her legs too tired to hike up the hill again. It had started to snow by the time they got back to the car, both wonderfully tired and smiling. “I’ll feel this tomorrow.” She eased out into the street. 

Bernie smiled pulling off her hat. “Me too, that was more of a work out than I remember.” 

“Let’s face it, we aren’t as young as we used to be.” 

“Oi! Speak for yourself.” 

“I’ll be fifty-one in three months.” Serena said pulling into her street. 

“Me too, well in two months.” 

They smiled at each other for a moment and then Serena turned the car off. A chorus of Jingle Bells filled the car, Serena reached for her phone and frowned. “Edward. He must have got back to Holby.” 

“Did you…” 

“No, he can call a cab if he wants to get home.” She sighed and muted the call. She’d deal with him at work tomorrow. Bernie helped her store the sledges and Serena offered the shower first while she got dinner started. 

Chicken safely in the oven Serena headed upstairs, she was digging around in her wardrobe for something to change into when Bernie stepped out in towel. “Oh sorry, I just forgot my jeans.” She picked her bag up off floor where she had left it. Serena’s eyes traced her exposed collarbones from across the room, her hair was done up in a towel and Serena could see the lean muscles in her arms. 

“It’s…it’s fine. I was just looking for something to change into.” 

Bernie nodded, “You can have the bathroom, I can change out here.” Serena grabbed her clothes and wordlessly passed Bernie, closing her eyes when she smelled her shower gel lingering on her skin. She shut the door to the loo a bit harder than she planned on and leaned against it, breathing hard. 

Serena came down stairs to find Bernie looking at the pictures that lined the mantel over the fireplace. She took in the skin tight black jeans that hugged her curves just so, the loose fitting olive green jumper brought out her beautiful skin tone. Her hair, that hair Serena longed to go over and run her fingers through the damp locks. She knew she was attracted to women, always had been, she had just never gotten around to exploring it. “See something you like?” 

The blonde jumped, turning her head towards Serena, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop.” 

Serena waved her off, “You’re not snooping.” She walked next to Bernie standing so their shoulders brushed, “Happier times.” She picked up a frame, she was twenty-one in the photograph holding a bubbly baby Elinor. “This was our first Christmas together, Ellie was so tiny and didn’t understand any of it of course but Edward and I showered her in gifts.” She sighed and looked around the living room, boxes half unpacked with all her Christmas things. “Sometimes I wonder why I put all this up. It’s just me and Ellie, she  
won’t even be home for Christmas this year, I can’t help myself though. Every time I unpack a box, I relive happy memories.” 

Bernie smiled and took a seat on the couch watching as Serena picked up a box and set it on the coffee table, carefully unwrapping a figurine. “I’m not religious but this was my dad’s mother’s nativity set. I put it up every year.” 

“It’s nice that you have traditions like this Serena, even if your daughter won’t be home on Christmas, surely she will come around before.” She fingered one of the statuettes 

“You’re very lucky.” 

Serena paused in her unpacking. “Have you heard from your kids?” 

Bernie shook her head. “Cam, my son, he isn’t speaking to me at the minute and Lottie made it quite clear she’s not spending Christmas with me. She’s spending it with Marcus and his side of the family.” She shrugged, “Oh well, less cooking and cleaning.” She gave Serena a watery smile. 

The brunette felt her heart break for her friend. She placed the shepherd that she just unwrapped down and sat next to her on the couch. “Oh Bernie.” She slipped her arm around thin shoulders and pulled her close. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” She kept the tears at bay, “I’ll be okay. It’s in two weeks already, I wouldn’t have anything done with the flat in time.” 

“You’ll come to mine.” 

“What?” She pulled back, “No Serena, I can’t impose- “ 

“Nonsense! I’ll be alone so will you. Silly for both of us to be. We can cook, nothing big but it will be nice. Have a good meal, nice wine, watch Doctor Who and It’s a Wonderful Life.” She smiled thinking about it, her mind already running through gift ideas for her new friend. She felt Bernie stiffen even more and shift away. Her new friend, very new friend. They had known each other so briefly but Serena couldn’t help but feel a deep connection, an attraction. She had a strong suspicion Bernie felt it too. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” 

Serena frowned turning on the sofa, so her knees bumped into Bernie’s to get a better look at her. “Hey, Bernie.” She wetted her lips reaching out to turn Bernie’s face towards hers. “What is it?” 

“It’s not that I’m not appreciative or enjoying myself but Serena, you’re a god send.” She couldn’t hold her tears back. Her cheeks flushed hot as they streamed down her face. She felt the pads of Serena’s thumb gently stroking her chin. “I’m-I’m sorry.” 

Pulling her to her chest her fingers carded through blonde hair, “Don’t be sorry. I know, this connection we have, it’s sudden but Bernie we have so much in common. These past two days have been wonderful. Please, let me do this, let us do this.” 

Bernie took a shuttering breath and calmed herself feeling embarrassed by her outburst, “If you let me do the baking.” 

Serena beamed and squeezed Bernie to her even tighter. “Of course, you can bake anything you’d like.” Serena felt herself grin harder, “I have to work Christmas Eve morning  
but it’s my turn for having Christmas off this year.” 

Bernie leaned into Serena’s side and squeezed her waist, “Thank you for this.” 

Serena dropped a kiss to Bernie’s hair, her fingers still running through the soft strands, “I’m so glad Edward’s plane never showed up.” 

Bernie smiled into Serena’s neck, “Me too.” She turned her face into Serena’s neck and inhaled her sweet perfume. She watched the white lights strung across the fire place sparkle. She had a feeling this was the start of something, something worthwhile. 

 

End


End file.
